As American society evolves, can the concept of marriage evolve too? After my discussion with one punk-rock bride who opted to smoke pot at her recent wedding, it may be time to revisit our stereotypes.
Congratulations on your recent marriage. What was the planning process like?
It’s a rabbit hole. For instance, my mother-in-law was convinced that square tables would ruin the wedding. Apparently, round tables are more “intimate.” I knew everyone was going to get drunk and dance, and no one was going to care about the goddamn table shape. That’s when I realized planning a wedding isn’t about me or my partner’s love for each other, it’s about the fucking party.
Why didn’t you just elope then?
Trust me, that was our first thought. But family excitement won out and we decided to endure the craziness. So we went ahead knowing the wedding was for them, but the marriage is for us. We got really good at saying no to just about everything.
“I never thought of myself as a stereotypical anything, let alone bride.”
Where was the wedding?
It was outdoors, at a lakeside in the mountains in Pennsylvania, all DIY. It seemed fitting because we spent a ton of time up there working on an old cabin, a teardown we fixed room by room.
You didn’t see yourself as a stereotypical bride?
I never thought of myself as a stereotypical anything, let alone bride. And even though we were planning a wedding, I didn’t view that as typical either. For instance, it was completely understood that our dog would be the ring bearer.
Breaking from tradition, you decided to get high at the wedding?
It wasn’t intentional at first, but yes. After the first toast of cocktail hour, a friend wanted to smoke up the newlyweds shortly after. I couldn’t find my husband, so I just decided to smoke without him instead. I couldn’t have made a better choice. For the first time all day, the frenzy stopped and I genuinely relaxed and soaked in every detail. I enjoyed talking to everyone, watching kids play, hanging by the lakeside and chatting by the fire. When the night was ending, my husband snuck some Pink Floyd into the late-night playlist. It was perfect.
Would you recommend other brides to smoke at their weddings?
Definitely. Smoking made my wedding day special, because it allowed me to really slow down and enjoy it. I spent it on my terms.
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